I'm an oxy-moron!

These are some of the thoughts that have actually passed through my brain.

Why is it we drive on a parkway and park in a driveway?  I never really understood that until living in Kansas City for awhile.  Why are asteroids found in outer space and hemorroids are found, well, you know where.  Shouldn't it be the other way around?  Why is it as people age they get smaller but their cars get bigger? Never drive behind someone wearing a hat!  It means they are elderly and likely to cause me to run into a tanker truck. I cannot for the life of me think of a synonym for thesaurus.  Can someone tell me why there's braille on the touch pad of a drive up ATM?  Why does a company that lays off 120 people in one day claim to have a "Corporate Business Ethics" code of conduct?

How can someone be "pretty ugly" or "a little pregnant"?  What about someone having a "healthy tan", or exactly how does a "head butt work?"  For that matter, how can someone be a "butthead"?  How does the "same difference" , "tight slacks", "jumbo shrimp" or "Microsoft Works" make any sense?  None of these things make any sense to me,  thus I tend to think about them more.

Here are some more things that make no sense, in alphabetical order. Academic sorority, Apple tech support, business ethics, Central Intelligence Agency, dead livestock, educational television, (Play that) funky music white boy, government worker, honest politician, income tax, job security, legal justice, management support, necessary evil, one size fits all, public school education, quiet riot, Reagon memoirs, Senate Ethics Committee, twelve ounce pound cake, United Nations, victimless crime, wireless cable.  You'll have to come up with your own X, Y and Z, my brain hurts.

I'm not stupid, I'm must be an oxy-moron.