Common Sense Cures

I have come across some incredible home remedies.  These can save you a bundle in hospital bills, prescription costs, headache and worry.

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat & presto, the blockage will be almost instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing  vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the  toilet seat by simply using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock,  will prevent you from rolling over & going back to  sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of  laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a  hammer and you will forget all about the toothache.

8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are: You only need two tools - WD-40 & Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

11. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.

12. And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan. SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES..........  THEY ARE NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING, BUT.....  THEY STILL BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS. Some real common sense stuff here.  Feel free  to use them and let me know how it goes.*

*For my less than intelligent and/or lacking in common sense friends and readers, these are not real cures but actually something called humor.  Don't believe everything you read.