What's wrong with this picture?

I don't know about you but I just don't like to be photographed by amateurs.  Only professionals are allowed to snap this handsome mug.  A professional being someone who is paid to take photographs.  Then why is it that the "professional at the Department of Motor Vehicles can't even get one good picture out of her camera?  Well, except for Stacy whose new driver's license picture looks like a glamour shot.  Mine looks like an adult who hangs out at Chuckie Cheese, and not for the delicious pizza! 

We moved last January and just today got around to getting the address changed on our licenses.  In Lenexa and most of the Johnson county towns, I believe not changing the address on your license carries the same penalty as parking a jetski in your driveway, letting your grass grow to 6 inches, a burnt out license plate light and capital murder.  So off to the beautiful city of Mission where the Drivers License station is conveniently housed in an abandoned Piggly Wiggly. 

Lucky for us, it was some kind of civil servant holiday so all services weren't available, but the picture girl was there.  Stacy backs up to the blue curtain (the one that indicates that you are over 21) and takes a picture that looks like it should be on the cover of Glamour magazine.  I step up to the same blue backdrop and the pro behind the camera counts to three and as she snaps the picture my face has some sort of spasm that looks like I just ran full speed into a cold doorknob backwards stark naked...and that's what I live with until 2011. 

The only conclusion I can come up with is another year at number 101 on People Magazine's 100 most beautiful people.  Just my luck!