Jail time for your thoughts...

I just want to keep everyone up to date when I get pulled over on the way home from work.  Another Friday night DUI stop, but this one was in Missouri.  This is my first Missouri stop.  I only had to wait in traffic for 30 minutes to find out I was not drunk.  I was elated to find that out. I did have to take a little oral quiz though.

Barely out of the Plaza area of Kansas city and here it comes...flashing lights, side streets (escape routes), blocked by police, lined up tow trucks and four lanes of traffic all waiting to be quizzed by waiting officers.  Bradyn had called earlier and had just gone through it but said it was further down the road.  It wasn't and there I sat.

I was scared to death that Officer John Wayne from Westwood was going to be there and ticket me or even arrest me for something like dim dashboard lights or low fluid levels.  But I was relieved to be quizzed by a nice Deputy who of course asked where I was coming from.  I said I just got off work in the Plaza.  He asked, "Where do you work?", to which I replied "KFKF radio."  As he was looking at my driver's license he asked, "What's your name?"  I immediately thought to myself, he thinks I have someone else's license because it says my name right on it.  For a moment I thought maybe I should just run for it, if I serpentine he probably will only hit me with one maybe two shots.  But I replied "Tim Peters."  He asked if that was my real name and I thought "No, it's really Harry Assenback".  He asked "Where you heading?"  I thought to myself, "Where do you go when you get off work?", but I thought bett er of it and said "Home".  He asked, "Where's home?" to which I thought, "What does it say on the license, did you want to come over" but I actually said "Lenexa".

He thanked me for my patience and I thanked him for not being able to read my mind.  He gave me a red card to show the officer's as I continued through the gauntlet.  I drove by waving my red card and exclaiming "I passed, I passed!  I don't know how, but I passed!"  They laughed and I was on my merry way.

See, not all police stops are cruel, profane and amateurish.  I saw Westwood's John Wayne up the street two blocks teaching a family he had stopped for dirty windows the "F" word and how to use it when writing them a bogus ticket.  Probably only about a $500 fine for that.  I think I might have seen him swing a night stick once in the driver's window as I went by.  I almost honked, but then thought, that's probably illegal in Westwood too.