Feelings, whoa whoa whoa Feelings...

I have been a bad boy!  With the heat, and the humidity, and the mosquitoes being the size of turkeys, I have just forgotten to jot down my feelings lately. 

The feeling I have right now is....crawlly.  Every morning I walk out of the house and into the spider web that Mr. Spider worked all night to construct.  I guess he gets the last laugh as he is sleeping from eating bugs all night and then I get to pull creepy feeling spider silk off my face the rest of the morning wondering where the creepy squirrel sized spider is on me.  I am crawling right now. 

If you've never experienced this feeling then maybe you can relate to this.  You've been camping or romping naked in the wilderness with a close friend and you  get home only to find a tick on your friend or loved one.  For as long as it stays on your mind you can feel ticks crawling all over your body, even though there probably aren't any.

And speaking of ticks, what kind of disgusting little creatures they are.  Think about the places you ususally find a tick.  In your belly button!  Do you know how much the average belly button stinks?  Or they like to find other disgusting, dark smelly folds on your body.  I would much rather have a cockroach crawl in my ear while I sleep.

Check it out sometime on the internet.  Did you know you consume something like 100 spiders while you sleep, over your lifetime.  I didn't want to say anything, but you need a Tic Tac!

That is all...Peters out!

More Randomnivity....

I was so bummed out to find out the new amusement park in Wichita closed after only two months.  They made the announcement last Monday.  The main problems they said was the inordinate amount of rain we've had this year.  I felt bad for the owners who are saying they will lose everything.  I've been there with the greedy bastards we dealt with at Blimpie International.  Over a thousand of us lost our stores, even after being in the top ten sales for as long as we were.  I heard on the news the other day that Krispy Kreme donuts have done the same greedy crap with their franchisees.  They are trying to get rich at the sake of the franchisees instead of waiting for their good fortune by helping make the franchisees successful.  I think it was Ray Kroc, founder of McDonalds that said "I'll get rich after I help you get rich".  Where has that kind of thinking gone in business today?  Between the oil companies, the government and t he insurance companies, I think it's safe to say that greed runs this country!

I had to interrupt my train of thought to interview a Navy Blue Angel who stopped by the radio station.  What an amazing occupation.  I would think it's almost as fun as being in radio only you probably don't get fired as much and some pimple face teenage punk can't walk in off the street and say I wanna be a Blue Angel, so they fire one of them and put the punk in in his place because he'll work for minimum wage.  That is the biggest reason it is different than radio.  Plus the fact that there is a high degree of honor in beng in the service of your country instead of telling people what the weather is every fifteen minutes.

I would guess that the perks are very similar except for when you work for the Navy you usually live near the ocean or some other area close to paradise.  Plus you get the hot babes when you're in the Navy.  Plus the uniform is to die for!  It's my opinion that the Navy whites are classier than the typical radio hawaiian shirt and harachi sandals.  Plus you have the coolest equipment...whatever that means. 

You never heard The Village People singing about being in radio did you?

I have totally forgotten what I started writing about here.  Allow me to gather my thoughts and return when I have a reason to be here.

That is all...Peters out!  ;-)  (I've always wanted to do one of those sideways smiley things)

 

Sorry I blew up....

I love the Fourth of July!  I have been fascinated by fireworks as long as I can remember.  I used to practice in the off season with a stick and a fire in the old backyard trash burner.  That is until my Mom caught me and blistered the back of my legs with the same stick I had been playing in the fire with.  By  today's standards, she wouldn't be eligible for parole for another 5 or 6 years.  But by the standards of yesteryear, it was an important lesson for a young pyromaniac.

Anyway, back in the old days we always had the best fireworks.  M-80's that could blow up trash cans and mailboxes.  If you threw them in the river or lake, they would send a plume of water 50 feet into the air.  Black Cats that could blow a finger off.  Bottle rockets were used for neighborhood battles, and no  one ever lost an eye.  I guess maybe that was just luck.  Fireworks that,  by today's standards, and my neighbor's standards, would get you 10 years in prison if the police happened by. 

One year, on the fifth of July while leaving Branson Missouri, fireworks were on sale.  Bottle Rockets for five cents a gross.  I bought twenty dollars worth and filled up the back of the van.  It took me over ten years to shoot all those off.  Those were the days!

So, as the family sat on the back deck of the house, we shot off illegal bottle rockets, Roman candles and Black Cats.  I have always been known for my technique of shooting bottle rockets from my bare hands.  So, as a family tradition, I demonstrated my prowess by sending them off from my hand.  All was good until my son pointed out that I was on fire.  Indeed, my shirt had caught  some peripheral bottle rocket fall out and was blazing.  Luckily the flames were small enough that two glasses of tea and a cooler full of melted ice was all it took to put me out.  Did I learn my lesson?  What do you think.  Where are the roman candles!!!  I'll  be right back after I change into something less flammable!

That is all...Peters out!