Random thoughts....

It has been nearly a week since I last wrote and I feel guillty about that.  I don't know why I haven't written in so long but I do know that I have started to write several times and have either gotten distracted, interrupted or simply lost inspiration.  I could blame it on the blues I suppose.  It has been raining here for nearly the entire week.  The grass looks greener, the small forest animals are flourishing and the mosquitoes are the size of turkeys.  I wonder if they taste the same?  Probably taste more like chicken I suppose.

I suppose I could blame it on global warming.  But I love rain, fog and thunderstorms, so Al Gore should be my hero, but alas he is not.  He's just another filty rich political loser who is now going through life trying to be significant.  But I'm not bitter.  I've been thinking about starting a grass roots movement  and calling it vote 'em all out.  I'd have a website that would incite people to vote against all of Congress out of office.  That is an uplifting thought!

I suppose I could have written Paris Hilton's memoirs of prison life but that would have taken more time than she is serving.  I am gratified to know that Paris found God while in prison.  Larry King ask her what her favorite passage of the Bible was and she said she didn't really have one. (Tanslation:  Oops,, didn't my publicist tell this old fart not to ask that question because the whole Bible thing was just to boost my image.)  I could have sworn I heard the ocean while waiting for her to answer.  I coulkdn't tell if it was coming from Larry or Paris. 

That's just a sample of what's going through my head at any given time.  My mind is so crowded I sometimes think my brain has been evicted.  I still laugh at farts.  Is that so wrong?

That is all....Peters out!

 

 

Making out in a Corvette....

I had the wiredest dream last night.  Now that I think back I believe I know why.  My in-law's neighbors moved yesterday and brought over a bottle of some alcoholic drink from Brazil.  It smelled just like charcoal starter, so you know it had to be good.  So we each had a little shooter of the stuff.  My Mother in Law had two shots as did the other neighbor that happened by.  After the two shooters, the neighbor was reminded of an experience he had had in the service in Germany while drinking a similar drink. 

He had been drinking a similar lighter fluid when he was approached by an attractive fifity something year old woman.  She obviously knew he had been drinking a bit and asked him if he had ever had a sportsman's double?  He said "No, go ahead and order one and I'll try it."  She said that it wasn't a drink.  It was an "experience" with a woman and her daughter.  He told her to bring it on and back to her apartment they went.  Being a young serviceman in his twenties, he was thinking this was going to be something special.  They entered the woman's apartment when she yelled "Get out of bed Mom, I've got another one for us!"

I would have to say that a "sportsman's double" must be a little like making out in a corvette.  I don't know why, it just is.  I can't be expected to have all the answers!

That is all...Peters out!

Paying It Forward....

Another weekend has gone by and I can finally say that I was sad to see it end. 

Back in the early part of the year my oldest nephew Chris, age 33, informed us that he and his longtime love Margo were going to get married in June.  They asked if I would provide the entertainment for the reception.  I told them I was a little rusty on the stripper pole but I would give it a shot if they insisted.  After they were done throwing up they said they meant Tobasco the reception dance.  I was more than just a little red faced.  I agreed and I followed through last Friday night in Omaha.

The trip began with Stacy and I and all the equipment in one vehicle and son Bradyn and girlfriend Jenny in the son's hot rod.  They other kids started out later.  As we almost always do,  we decided to stop at Sapp Brother's truck stop in Iowa to use their facilities.  As we exited,  there was a homeless guy at the side of the road.  I ask Stacy to give me some money to give him and she handed me her last five dollar bill.  I handed it to him and wished him luck.  Things like that just make me feel good.

We arrived in Omaha, got the equipment set up for the wedding and the night went pretty good.  I had fun and those who didn't die of heat stroke enjoyed themselves also.  We finished the dance at eleven and went to my Mom's house and crashed for the night.

The next day, we got up and met at Mama's Pizza for lunch.  After that, the kids all went to Lincoln to do whatever and Mom decided we'd celebrate Father's Day and Sue and Terry's 35th anniversery by going to the casinos in Council Bluffs.  Mom gave each of us $100 dollars and made the challenge to see who could win the most.  I headed to the blackjack tables where I won a cool $200.  Stacy, as I was playing my first hand, went to a slot machine, put in some money, pulled the arm once and won $288.  I finished up playing cards and met back up with Stacy where she hit me up for a twenty.  It was the only money I had since she had cashed in my chips and she put it in a "Tabasco" dollar slot machine.  On the seventh pull, she won another $250!  I guess she won the competition.

The rest of the weekend I wondered to myself if I had not given the homeless guy five bucks, how would the weekend have gone then?  It really does pay to pay it forward. 

That is all...Peters out!

The Last Goodbye....

Being the trendsetter that I am and being on the radio, I like to do what many radio people would think to be inasanity.  I'm having some people on my show who were "let go" from another radio station.  In fact, they were "let go" by a station I have been fired from twice.  I consider a badge of honor.

Thursday I will have Bekki and her former KEYN co-host, who shall remain nameless,  but I will refer to him as Mr. Walton on the show.  They will be on my show to have a chance to say goodbye to their listeners and maybe give their fans some closure.  Not to say they couldn't pop up at another station in the future, but for right now they can have the final say. 

Both times I was fired from this station, although it was by two different companies, I never got to say goodbye, sort of.  I did land at KKRD the next day after one of the "let goes", so it wasn't a complete mystery as to my whereabouts.

I've posted a picture from my scrapbook circa 1981 that includes the three of us plus my current boss' boss.  He's the one with my finger in his nose.  Hope you'll be able to tun in tomorrow.

That is all...Peters out!

Orkin Man to the Rescue...

 

I know that everyone has probably been on the edge of their chair waiting for this and here it is.  No change!  No change from a year ago on my nuclear stress test last Friday.  That's a good thing.  So, enough about that.

Last Saturday night our "party" neighbors were out of town again and as usual their son had all his alcoholic teenage friends over to be loud and obnoxious.  At about midnight we heard screeching tires and hot rodding rich kids out in the street in front of the house.  I grabbed my "Orkin Man" flashlight and went to investigate.

The first thing I encountered were two large teenagers urinating on the side  of my house.  I asked if there was something I could help them with not really believing that I really would help them urinate.  (I did have my trusty Orkin Man flashlight so I could have actually helped them detect if they had peed their pants.) They said no and I asked what was going on with the other 20 or so drunk teenagers in the street.  The said just a little fisticuffs, so I suggested we call the Lenexa police to come over and referee.  They emphatically said no and told me that if I helped them get their '66 Impala started they would leave.  Then their classic started up and they thanked me and ran to the car, stopping only briefly to fight some more.  So I took my Orkin Man flaslight and stepped into the street and yelled that they had one minute to get out or the police would be called.

Not a great deal of thinking went into this action, but I had just finshed watching Tito Ortiz kick Ken Shamrock's butt in UFC action in the octagon on tv and felt fairly tough. Lucky for me they decided being a teenager and being drunk when the cops arrived was not the way theu wanted to end their Saturday night.

The police did arrive and before it was all over there were seven cruisers, no parents in the house and teenage girls hiding in the party house.  Despite how hard the officers knocked the girls refused to answer the door.  The officers did get hold of the parents and I can only guess they were mad.  Mad because the kids had a party without them there.

It will be interesting to see what happens when they finally get home.  We'll see if they're mad at the neighbors or the kids.  If they're going to be mad at us, they better just remember I have an Orkin Man flashlight I  may just go over and shine it on the protein stained carper and embarass them.

That is all...Peters out!

Up All Night Studying....

This is the day I have been waiting for.  Today, I get to go through my annual stress test.  Here's the basic concept.  The doctors put me on a treadmill and try to kill me to see how healthy my heart is.  Maybe it's not that bad but it really isn't that fun.  I'd much rather be skinny dipping in the muddy waters of Cheney Lake.  It's best to do it when the water's cold so you have an excuse, if you know what I mean.

Anyway, at 1:30 today they'll be hooking me up to about a hundred electrodes for the EKG part of the test.  When the test is over I look like I'm molting.  I get to walk on the treadmill until my heart rate reaches 140 or more, then I get a shot or something and get to lay motionless in a giant medical tube.  For those of you who know me, know that laying motionless is not a big problem for me.

I go through all of this to see if my heart is working or if I should just walk off the top of a buildning first chance I get.  Before my surgery my ejection fraction was 20%.  (Normal is 65%)  My last stress test I was at 40-45% which they consider pretty good for a guy with re-plumbing issues.  I'll let you know how it went on Monday.  If I don't write Monday, start looking for me at the base of tall buildings.

That is all...Peters out!