My Kids are KPC!

 

Have you ever got a song in your head and then caught yourself singing it constantly for the next few days?  Or heard from an old friend and thought about them all weekend?  This just happened to me this week, but that's not what I'm going to talk about.

What I am going to talk about is my family.  My family is speaking a foreign language and they are calling it texting.  OMG!  They talk to all the BF's and GF's with this language.  U, G, H, I am totally out of the loop on this.  They tell me they'll BRB and I think they're saying TTFN.  When I tell them I don't know what they mean they say LOL and ROFL.  They will also LMAO at me.  4COL, I can't even get my .02 worth in.

BION, as hip a guy as I am they will always BIL at me.  I understand ASAP and BYOB but I don't get is what is the BFD?  They tell me I am FUBAR.  I BTD,  IKYABWAI?  They just tell me to FOAD.  LOL!!!!

That is all...Peters out!!!!

 

 

Long Arm of the Law...

As I was driving home the other day,  I was on the 40mph stretch of West 21st street, minding my own business when a sheriff's deputy began following me.  As I have not had time to license my car since it was purchased in June and the plates are still registered to a 1992 Chrysler Fifth Avenue, It just seemed normal that I should start sweating profusely.  I decided to turn into the YMCA parking lot and so did he with lights a flashin'.  My sweatfeat was not going to be in vain.

The Deputy approached my side of the car asking as he got to the window if I was the owner of the car.  To which I instinctively replied, "Why yes!".  He then asked what car the license plate belonged to, to which I said it belonged to a Chrysler Fifth Avenue I no longer had but I would be transferring this car to that plate.  He then asked when I had acquired the car I was driving.  I replied"....uh, June?".  He raised his voice and exclaimed "You only have 30 sdays to license the car!!!".  To which I explained that I worked in Wichita and lived in Kansas City and the DMV was closed by the time I got there on Friday afternoons.  He seemed somewhat satisfied with that excuse.

He asked for my driver's license and proof of insurance and I complied, fearing I might get tasered if I caused any problems.  I was thinking to myself, "Don't tase me bro, don't tase me bro".  The deputy grew silent and alternated glances at my license and me.  He then asked, "Are you the Tim Peters on the radio?"  He could probably hear the air escaping out of my lungs when I replied, "Why, yes I am!"  To which the deputy exclaimed, "DUDE!!!  I love your station!  It's my favorite!!!"  We were now friends.

It turns out that the deputy is Stacy's nephew's best friend and likes fishing down on Grampa Jacks farm.  I was glad that we both benefitted from the chance encounter.  I didn't get a ticket and he didn't lose his permission to fish at Grampa Jack's lake.  Life is good once again!

That is all...Peters out!

 

More Udder Nonsense....

The matchups were announced today for the Journal Broadcasting State Fair Celebrity Milking teams were via e mail this morning.  I am on team three.  I think the celebrity we'll be milking is Roger Cornish.  I'll bring some Udder Balm for him because after the 1991 Celebrity Milking contest my nipples were killing me.  The state fair folks forgot to tell me the celebrities were milking cows, not the other way around.  Then, as a prank I think, they gave me a bull but didn't tell me.  It took me forever to get the required gallon out of the big guy.  I think he was holding back and I've got to say, I don't blame him. 

The next day, there's my picture on the front page of the Hutchinson newspaper, milking a Bull!  I thought  it was odd there was only one udder!

Today is a banner day!  It is Red Hat Society day at the Kansas State Fair.  The fine ladies have all kinds of fun events planned.  I guess I hadn't followed the Red Hat Ladies' growth.  They have apparently become a large organization.  Here's how the day will go:

     9:00 am     Red Hat Parade

     1:30 pm     Red Hat Cow Chip throwing event

     2:00 pm     Red Hat group shower

     3:00 pm     Red Hat Sheep Shearing contest

     4:00 pm     Red Hat Goat Milking competition

     5:00 pm     Red Hat Social hour in the Beer Garden

     6:00 pm     Red Hat chugging competition

     7:00 pm     Red Hat Truck and Tractor pull

Those are some busy gals! 

Remember, what happens at the state fair stays at the state fair!

That is all, Peters out!!!

    

    

 

 

I had no idea....

...that if you go into a stall in a public restroom, you can send signals to others that you are looking for a "good time" with apparently anyone.  Idaho senator Larry Craig, who apparently has a wide stance and taps his foot, hums Cher songs and likes to pick up any diseases that may be lurking on the floor of the public restroom has taught me alot in the past couple of weeks.  Senator Craig originally pleaded guilty a couple of months ago to doing stuff like this in a Minneapolis airport restroom and it caught up with him.  The other day he told us he would resign his position at the end of September.  Now, I find out that he is unresigning and seeking to unenter an unguilty plea.  I had no idea you could undo this.

Senator Craig has had this toe tapping problem before in New York's Grand Central Station also.  He has had a change of heart as his children have now come out and told him he is not gay.  So many people have told him he isn't gay that he now believes it.  Now all Larry has to do is go to the landfill and find all the Cher and Barbra Streisand albums he abruptly tossed when he thought he might be gay because all the signs were there because soliciting men for "whoopee" in restrooms does not mean you're gay.  You know, the toe tapping in public restrooms, the desire to touch other people's "thingys", his intense desire to "Dance with the Stars", and his desire to become a Cher impersonator do not necessarily mean you are gay.  I've heard Senator Craig had sent Siegfried and Roy cards volunteering to take Roy's place if needed. 

Rumors around Washington are that Craig will begin a whistlestop campaign across America to hold press conferences at Bus Station restrooms everywhere to reinforce his claim of not being gay.  I had heard the Senator had received an invitation to appear on an episode of Will and Grace and he had considered joining the cast of "Cats" on Broadway.  He may even be seen "Sweating to the Oldies".

I wish Larry Craig much luck in his bid to undue his indiscretions and become ungay.  Excuse me if I don't shake his hand.  I just don't know where it's been.

That is all...Peters out!  (Not the same as you're used to Senator!!!)